Woman asks boyfriend to pick up her medicine because she's too sick to go out, boyfriend makes a big deal about it so she does it instead: 'I don’t know if I’m expecting too much or if this is a real issue I should address'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 13, 2025 7:00 AM EST

We all know about the famed five love languages, but the one you hear about the least is acts of service. Basically, 'acts of service' boils down to this: you perform chores for your partner without them asking you to do them to alleviate a bit of stress in their life. Sometimes this can be a very nice gesture, like taking your partner's car to get the oil changed on a whim. It can get a little muddy when you're just performing the chores you're supposed to do for general household upkeep, but that's another story. If you're a true 'acts of service' person, it is a surefire way to make your partner feel seen and cared for.

Because acts of service require a good amount of time, effort, and sometimes financial responsibility, it can really sting if someone can't reciprocate the efforts you give to them. One woman experiences this when she asks her boyfriend to go to the store to pick up her medicine, and he seemingly cannot do it for himself. So, is she right to think this was a simple task and basic human decency? Or was it truly too much to ask? Read on to see what you think.


 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10465079808
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  • 02

    "AITA for being upset that my boyfriend didn’t help me when I was really sick?"

    I (F20) am really sick right now. Some virus, full-body muscle pain, I can barely move. This morning, around noon, I asked my boyfriend (m27) if he could grab some things for me..medicine, tissues, toilet paper. Only if he could, though. I didn't demand anything. He said yes. I even asked again, "Are you sure?" and he was like, "Yeah, yeah." So I thought, okay, great. I went back to sleep.
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  • 03
    Then, around 3 PM, he calls me while already on his way to work (his shift starts at 4) and suddenly he's overthinking everything. Saying stuff like, "I don't know if I can make it," and kind of debating with himself out loud. Like, bro. It's just a pharmacy run. Max 30 minutes. And the thing is, I do so much for him when he's sick. I always know exactly what meds he needs, I already have them at home, and if he ever needs anything, I go immediately. No hesitation. But now, the one time I need s
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  • 04
    Then he starts saying he's not sure how to explain my situation at the pharmacy. That he might need to ask my doctor something, but he doesn't know what to ask or how to say it. I tell him, he doesn't need to say anything. He just has to show my health card. That's literally it. The pharmacy already has everything on file. The doctor even told me not to leave the house, so there's nothing to explain. He also isn't sure if its rlly gonna take 30 mins or longer bc if its gonna take longer he will
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  • 05
    gonna take longer he will come late to work..I mean if that would've been an issue he should've left 10-15 mins earlier? I mean now he's at work 30 mins early and drinking his coffee. But instead of just listening, he makes it seem like some impossible task.
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  • 06
    Then, while already near my place, he asks if a friend of mine can do it instead. Like... what? I haven't spoker to that person in forever, and now I should randomly text them like, "Hey, can you buy me some stuff because my boyfriend doesn't feel like it?"
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  • 07
    That's so weird. By the time he gets. to my place, he hands me a mask and goes, "So, how do you wanna do this?" And at that point, I was just done. I said, "I'll figure it out."
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  • 08
    Because I hate feeling like I have to beg for basic help. And then he got annoyed. And then I got annoyed that he was annoyed. Bc honestly..why ru mad?? I hate being the one that has to always sk it up when he's mad.
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  • 09
    And the absolute cherry on top? He says, "Just try standing up, try walking." Bro. I can't. That's the whole reason I needed help in the first place. At this point, I don't even know if I'm angry or just disappointed. Am I crazy for thinking this is messed up? AITA?
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  • 10

    Here's an update on the original story.

    Edit 1: So, a little update. I ended up going to the doctor and pharmacy myself to get my sick note for work and pick up my own medication. Since we had no tissues or toilet paper at home, I also went to the store. And because my body is completely drained, I actually fell when I left the doctor's office because my legs were too weak. I managed to get home and now I'm just sitting here alone, not really sure how to feel.
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  • 11
    He knows I went out myself. He's at work now and keeps texting me, asking how I'm feeling, and I just don't know how to respond. I don't know if I should be upset, because if I bring it up, he'll probably just get irritated. He gets annoyed easily, and I hate feeling like I'm the one causing unnecessary drama. But at the same time, I feel like this isn't something I should just ignore.
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  • 12
    It's not like he's a bad partner. He's actually really independent, does a lot on his own, and he has a child. When it comes to his kid, he's super responsible-if the kid needs something, he's on it immediately. I also help out when I can, like grabbing medicine or supplies for school. I don't mind at all. But I guess
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  • 13
    school. I don't mind at all. But I guess that's part of the problem. I want to be taken care of in the same way. Not just when I'm at my absolute worst, but even when I'm just sick or on my period. I wish I didn't have to ask for it, that it would just be natural for him. That's just how I show love, and it's what I need to feel loved in return.
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  • 14
    I don't know if I should just let this go or if I should talk to him about it. And if I do bring it up, I have no idea how to do it without making him defensive. Any advice?
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  • 15

    Here's even more context, to get the full picture.

    Edit 2: Just to clarify, he's not useless or lazy. He actually does a lot. But this kind of care..being looked after when I need it, feels really important to me, like part of my love language. I don't know if I'm expecting too much or if this is a real issue I should address.
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  • 16

    Most of the commenters agreed that this guy wasn't worth this woman's time.

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  • 17
    NTA. This is such a low bar to clear and if he can't you should be rethinking this relationship. It sounds very one-sided.
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  • 18
    NTA he made something simple way harder than it needed to be. You weren't asking for a grand gesture it was just a quick pharmacy run, which he agreed to do. Instead of following through, he made excuses and complicated things and even tried to push the responsibility onto someone else when again HE AGREED TO DO IT.
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  • 19
    Meanwhile you go out of your way to take care of him when he's sick. That imbalance is frustrating and valid to be upset about. You're not crazy when he just showed you how unreliable he is when you really need him.
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  • 20
    | 3 months into my relationship, I had fractured my right arm and leg. My Man lived far away. He would travel a very long distance daily to help me out. Even when I asked him not to. Bathing cooking you name it. As they say ,If he wanted to, he would. Run.
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  • 21
    ΝΤΑ Relationships are a test for a partner. Can you rely on them? Do they care? He failed. Go get yourself someone who actually cares and ditch this fool.
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  • 22
    A 27 year old man that can't figure out how to get you toilet paper is an a hle. Period. Dump the Chump. He probs my lives with his parents.
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  • 23

    Truth hurts.

    NTA- think long and hard if you want a partner this incompetent and lazy. It was a pharmacy run and he couldn't even manage that.
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